Tuesday, August 19, 2014


I've been asked a lot lately whether I'm going to post any new stories here.  The direct answer is that if I do anything worth writing about, I'll post.  It's been a very long time since I've had the urge bad enough to lose control, so it might not be soon.

Maybe I'm changing as I get older (I'll be 34 next month) or maybe this is just what happens naturally as time passes.  I don't know.  I'm definitely still me, and I do still think of perverse and horrible things to do to myself, just not as often anymore, and I don't follow through and actually do them. That may be for the best because lately my imagination drifts towards things that would be too dangerous to try.  The same kind of stuff, just more extreme.

Other things in my life have been changing too.  The practice I work for has grown and I'm now the office manager.  I'm working a normal 8-5 schedule for the first time ever and actually succeeding.  I replaced my car without help from my dad.  I've moved into a two bedroom apartment.  I have a big orange cat named Ben. 

And I have been on a couple of dates this summer, which might astound some people I chat with.  I don't know what I'm looking for yet, relationship, intimacy, friendship, but I do know that I'm definitely not looking for someone to share my perversions with.  That part I keep to myself.  Anyway, I'm happy that I've finally begun to interact socially with real people again.  Face to face.  That's an achievement for me. 

So that's what I've been up to lately.  It'll probably continue to be a long time between posts here.  I read my email regularly but I'm bad at replying.  Sometime I catch up, sometimes I wait too long on some messages and then it doesn't make sense to reply.  I don't mean to be rude.  It just happens.  If I get in the mood I'll chat on IRC though that hasn't happened in a while.  I find it easiest to chat with people who've already found this blog and know who Blowfly Girl is or have read my first maggot story in one of the hundreds of places it's been reposted.  In chatrooms when people don't know me I scare them away pretty quickly.  That gets old after a while. 

On the subject of emails, I do want to say thank you to everyone who has written just to say they enjoyed my stories or to compliment my writing.  I've been getting more of these recently and fewer propositions for sex or pleas for me to get psychiatric or spiritual help.  So, seriously, thank you. 


  1. I'm glad that you're doing well. Please don't do any more of these things they sound dangerous xx

  2. Hey, in response to beign one of those people who are always hungry for stories...

    ... I'd be equally interested in just hearing the horrible and perverse ideas that occur to you. :D Even if they aren't true stories, hearing what your fantasies are would equally titillate most of us. Safe, sane way to get those things out.

  3. "I act out with my sexuality. I find beauty in the world, so I seek the opposite. Where flowers bloom, I'm attracted to dead leaves. When butterflies sip nectar from the flowers, I seek worms. But even these aren't good metaphors. Better, when an animal squats to relieve itself of waste, I spread myself in invitation. Go ahead and imagine that, and then imagine much, much darker. In there, in that complete, corrupt darkness, somehow, I find my ecstasy."

    ^ That right there is the closest I can get to understanding you- Honestly, the things you've done make my darkest nightmare look like a summer day- and you were willing. I'd like to understand more of the person behind the actions-

    I'm glad you're doing better in life and sociable activities here recently, I hope you can continue the trend and handle the corrupting darkness of depravity- I'll send your yahoo an email- hope it still exists.