Checking in

Just thought I'd write here a little bit - the emails asking if I'm still around have begun, which makes me feel a little guilty. I'm still here, I'm still okay, and still employed - amazingly enough.

I'm actually thinking of going back to school to become a paralegal. It's not something I'm especially interested in, but I think it might be a smart thing to do. I do work in a law office, after all.

I had an awkward moment during a visit to the gyne. I have a new doctor now because of different insurance and I went for my first annual last week. While she was examining me, looking inside me, she was like, hey, what happened to you? So I told her about having had toxic shock syndrome, but not without my face also flushing red. She asked me how I got it. I mumbled something about a bacterial infection, trying to deliberately sound stupid. I could tell by her expression that she thought I was being evasive, and she kind of stopped asking.

But she did tell me one thing that I didn't know before. I already knew that I am basically sterile, unable to get pregnant, but I've never known exactly why. She explained that it was because of scar tissue. There's apparently a lot of scarring in my vagina and especially on my cervix. Interesting to know. I'd always wondered. I guess I'm glad the scarring doesn't get in the way of having fun. It might have been sort of cool to have had some scarring on the outside where it would be visible. Then it would be kind of like a "medal of honor" for having managed to mutilate myself a little bit.